Day 25: ....things left undone

So this is Day 25 ....one quarter of the way through my first 100 days.

Twenty-five days....what should a person accomplish in 25 days?

I think my days have been celebratory, thankful...moving toward an "integrated wholeness" as Parker Palmer might say.

Yet, there still is a sense of not enough time...and many things still left undone...but the lists seem more meaningful...

Day 24: Stuff

Today I finally got back to the RRSEC office to deal with "the stuff" that I did not get to before I left. "The Stuff" is all the materials and things I acquired over my 32 years teaching at Rum River Special Education Cooperative. I didn't finish, but made progress...I needed to sort through information and "stuff" that was mine.

I know I'm keeping way to much of "the stuff." Information from the many projects I worked on and acquired....it seems hard to know right now what might be useful to me as I continue to work in the field of visual impairments.

I will get rid of more of it later.

Day 23: Going Public

The local newspaper called and wanted to do an interview...it is their way of honoring the retiring teachers...so given my attitude about my "re-engagement," you may have an insight about how I felt about it. Also, I've had several interviews and articles over the last couple of years...and I just did not know how I felt about another one in the paper...I said I would call them back.

So I did...eventually. The article came out in the newspaper today...

It is fine...Rachel did the interview and wrote the article. She has interviewed me before and does a nice job. Here is the link to the article.

http://isanticountynews.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=6327&Itemid=85

Day 22: Smart, Young Women

Today I had both Olivia and Aidan (grandbabies) for the day. It was another hot day so I decided it would be a good day for the Splash Park in Princeton (about 11 miles to the west). I also decided it would be fun to have someone join us. I called my friend, Julie, who has a daughter, Aften (Olivia's age) and a son (Parker) who is school age, and she joined us.

I am very thankful that I have young female friends...they are special people in my life. My daughter, Ehlan, also includes me in activities with her friends sometimes and I am very appreciative for that.

I remember that my parents had friends who were my age after I was an adult...I can understand why.

I truly enjoy my smart, young women friends (my daughter included, although we will both agree that we we are not "girlfriends") and enjoy their laughter and friendship.

Day 21: Living Peacefully

Somewhere in the past year I read that having peace does not mean without "struggle." I must admit it was an "aha" moment for me. I think, unconsciously, I had this vision of "peace" that was this idyllic way of living without tension and conflict.

I think one aspect of "peace" is choosing your struggles.

Today I decided to "struggle" with my physical self. It was a very hot and humid morning...the kind of morning that would be easy to say, "It is too hot and humid to run today." So instead, I chose to struggle and pushed myself to run a mile without stopping, which for me, is something that I have not accomplished for one year.

In a way, it gave me some peace today.

Day 20: Celebrations

Today is June 21st...this is always one of the most eventful days of the year in our household...not necessarily in activities, but in spirit.

First, it is the summer solstice...Roger and I have always enjoyed this day of long light...so much so, that we got married on the summer solstice 30 years ago.

Second, Ehlan was born on this day 28 years ago...our second wedding anniversary.

The year she was born, 1981, it was also Father's Day and it was the day we moved into our current home...

So it is always a day of warm remembrances, stories, and sharing our love in our family.

Day 19: Nine Souls

Kathryn says that she is always impressed with the people who attend the retreats with us...and I absolutely agree. It is so good for my soul to be with such kind, committed, reflective, intelligent, and concerned spirits...it is always humbling and inspirational.

There are nine of us attending the retreat and I am very appreciative of every person who decided to spend time apart from their busy lives and share their wonderful journeys. I am especially appreciative of the young women who joined in...they are three of the nine. Their spirits are impressive.

I think I can safely say that we all feel nurtured to be at ARC, eating wholesome food, being amongst the wise and stately virgin pine timbers, and breathing more slowly.

Day 18: Transition, Transformation, New Aspirations

Last year my dear friend, Kathryn, "re-engaged" from teaching students who are blind and visually impaired in Minnesota. During the summer (in the month of August) of her last 2 years of teaching, she was a steadfast participant in a retreat I facilitated at ARC for educators. I organized the retreat due to my own personal need to revisit my purposes in teaching before the school year got underway in its usual "speed of light" fashion, to "give back" to ARC, and to spend "time apart" in a beautiful and peaceful place. Kathryn's choice to also spend time in retreat with me, gave me a deep sense of support.

After the second retreat and thinking about her upcoming last year in teaching, Kathryn asked me to facilitate a retreat on "transitions" the following June. She had discussed it with Jan, ARC's Director, and already had the week-end on the calendar.

Kathryn and I have this terrific nudging relationship and friendship. Throughout our professional teaching careers, we "nudged" each other forward into professional activities to benefit our students and colleagues and at the same time, challenged our own knowledge and skills in really positive ways. So of course I said yes. So last year I facilitated the retreat with Kathryn's support...it was viewed very positively and Jan invited me back to facilitate the retreat this year.

Today I will be leaving for a week-end at the beloved ARC Retreat Center. This is very timely for me as I continue to manage my own transition. The title of today's blog is the title of the retreat and was my mantra during most of this past year.

This is the description of the retreat:

Transition, Transformation, and New Aspirations—How to use life’s major transitions – marriage, divorce, career change, retirement, among others – to redefine ourselves and shape a future true to your own inner voice. Suggested reading: Writing to Change the World by Mary Pipher. Facilitator Donna McNear returns this year to help open doors to new callings.

Day 17: Multi-tasking

Multi-tasking is taking on a new meaning for me. I used to refer to multi-tasking in terms of projects and "office related" tasks. Now that I'm "not in office," my multi-tasking today was about combining important people in my life.

Today I "multi-tasked babysitting the grandbabies, admiring my friend's dog Da'Vi, and my friend, Robin, at a dog show. Robin is a "master" dog handler from a previous life and she has recently honed her past skills with her new dog, Da'Vi. Da'Vi was a winner today...taking home the best of his class! ...or something like that. He is on his way to being a "Champion." Check out his great profile below....Robin provided a terrific profile in the ring also!



I, on the other hand, was a "master" baby handler by taking 2 babies out and about. I'm not so sure their "profiles" adequately demonstrated my handling skills that day.

Day 16: Nuggets

I use the term "nuggets" to refer to small words and phrases that are worth a gold nugget. Today I was looking for a few"nuggets" to bring to my retreat (more in a future post) this week-end.

I reread this card I recently got from my long time colleague and friend, Jann, who was a teacher for students who are deaf/hard of hearing...she also left teaching this year.

Please enjoy this "nugget" created by Susan Mrosek...be sure to check out her web site at http://ponderingpool.com/.

"How delightfully rich is ones' mind,
when doused in hope
and left overnight to seed."

Day 15: First Things First

If you recall, that was a name of a book by Steven Covey...I think I read it at one time. I don't remember the content of the book, but I do remember the title. Today was a day to stay mindful of that very important phrase. I put "things to do first" on hold during this past year...one of them was my "yearly" mammogram. So I was "beating myself up" since last week because I did not "pass" and had to go back... "Oh fine," I said to myself....I just told Roger last month (regarding my re-engagement), "that all should be fine as long as I don't get sick." ...and now I screwed up because I delayed my mammogram (which I have never put off before)...."great timing."

Today was when I went back... and I found out all is well. However, I lived with enough sense of guilt that I'm bringing that phrase back (first things first) into my life as a mantra.

After the doctor's office I stopped by my old office to pick up a couple of things and in my mailbox was a wonderful and delightful and thoughtful little photo/scrapbook of past years at RRSEC (Rum River Special Education Cooperative). A lovely gift from one of our administrative assistants, Lu. In the book was the photo below....it is our team for "Relay for Life" one year. We won first place for the theme...the "Mammo Grandmas." So here I am living out a real life mammogram grandma!


Since I'm on a theme about cancer, one of the incredibly important activities of Roger's, is his leadership in The Masonic Cancer Center at the University of Minnesota http://www.cancer.umn.edu/. He is the Chair of The Board for the next two years at a time when the Masons have committed $65 million to build a new cancer facility at the University of Minnesota. This is an awesome legacy that the Masons are leaving to Minnesota and I hope to have more time in supporting Roger in this incredible mission.

Day 14: Hospitality

When you live out in the country like we do, it is not normal for people to just "drop-in." So today was a planned day to offer friendship and hospitality to some very important friends and previous co-workers who were huge contributors to making my last year as a teacher very meaningful. They are a blessing in my life and I give thanks for their spirits of friendship.

Day 13: At Home

There is really nothing better than having whole days at home. Thirteen days ago I thought I would have had many more days "just" at home. However, that has not been the situation.

It is also interesting being home on a sunny day when the sun shines into the house...it really is a situation that has not occurred very much this past year and I realized just how much I have "let go" on some of the routine chores....it is humbling to see what the sunshine reveals...

So readings from Zen Master, Thich Nhat Hanh, reminded me to be in the moment with activities...he used dish washing as an example. I think about many things when I do chores...sometimes it just is good to listen to an old Grateful Dead tune.

Day 12: Roger's Day of Celebration!

Today was all about celebrating Roger's 60th birthday. It was actually June 3rd, but this was our first opportunity (June 13th) to have the day together in a fun way. We met the kids at their house and drove over to Taylors Falls, Minnesota. It's just about 30 miles away and is a beautiful natural area on the St. Croix River... it was formed by glaciers and has these great "pot holes." We love to meander on the boulders and enjoy the views. We all had a terrific time...check out the smiles!

Day 11: Lomi Lomi

Lomi Lomi is a form of massage from Hawaii and is considered an ancient form of healing. My massage therapist is now trained in this massage tradition and today was my massage from this tradition. I am grateful for this.

Day 10: "Artsy" Friends

We've always had unique friends and many artist friends through the years...mostly due to Roger's previous career as a leather artist for over 30 years. Our neighbor and friend for 30 years, Gary Moss, is a visual artist. Gary has always been someone who I can call for help when Roger is out of town (he is also a great cook and will feed me great suppers) and he knows he can also call on me for help when needed.

Gary has had a fascinating painting career...we have a number of original oil paintings and some prints. Today I spent the day with Gary helping to write a proposal for a project to paint Minnesota's North Shore (of Lake Superior). I really like it when I have a skill that can be put to use to help out a friend and I always learn bunches about art and painting around Gary.

Split Rock Lighthouse is a "classic" in Minnesota. Painting by Gary Moss

Day 9: More Babysitting

I spent the afternoon with the grandbabies again...this time at Ehlan's (my daughter) and Ryan's (my son-in-law) home. The babies got some nap time in...that is a good thing for me....I never had practice taking care of two babies at one time and it is busy...a very good "busy" however. The photo is a recent one from when we went to Como Zoo in St. Paul in May.

Olivia & Grammi at Como Zoo

Day 8: Meetings

Most of Day 8 was about attending a meeting. It is almost a guarantee that I will be spending less time in meetings. It is not that I don't like "meetings," but they can often get into an "unmeaningful" category. For me, the solution will be about participating in meetings on things I really care about. I really care about the teacher shortage in the field of visual impairments and I have participated in many professional activities focusing on this issue through the years. The meeting today was about our teacher training initiative in Minnesota to maintain a quality teaching force in visual impairments. What a committed and quality group of people I got to "meet" with today. Many thanks to my dedicated colleagues for a good meeting!

Day 7: Grand Babies

Definitely a day is meaningful when I get to spend time with my grandbabies. Olivia is 2 years 3 months and Aidan is 5 months. They spent part of the day at my house. Roger was home much of the day so we all had a chance to play. Roger and I are great "players." I captured Roger playing with Aidan...

Day 6: Small Group

Today (Day 6 was Sunday, June 7), I started reading the book, Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening. It is the next book my Small Group from Cambridge Lutheran Church is reading. My Small Group is a group of (mostly retired) women who are passionate about social justice issues, especially disenfranchised populations. I am thankful these women are in my community and faith family.

Day 5: Reform

A week ago or so, I was in conversation with a friend about leaving my teaching position. He got right to the point and asked me what I was going to reform next. It stopped me in my thinking tracks and I know I had no intelligent response.

On my walk/run this morning I thought more about that question. First, about my friend who asked the question, Jim Fruchterman...it is important to understand the source. It is true that he is a friend, but he is also a mentor, role-model, and I'm going to work for his organization, Benetech, http://www.benetech.org/, on a project called Bookshare, http://www.bookshare.org/. Our lives primarily intersect in the blindness technology arena...I first met him many years ago after he invented a reading machine for the blind. He has had a profound impact on accessibility for people who are blind and in other areas of social value. He is a "social entrepreneur" amongst many other things.

Second, back to the question...so I should have asked him what he thought I already reformed, but I was too overwhelmed by the question. I guess I could consider my ongoing work in accessible materials for children who are blind/low vision as "reform" work...I still don't have an answer, but I will "live" with that question in the days ahead.

Day 4: Reading

I have hoped that I will do more reading...this morning I ate my breakfast (after my walk/run) and read the newsletter for ARC Retreat Center (http://www.arcretreat.org/). Jan Wiersma, the Executive Director, is a powerful writer. What a gift to start this morning with thoughts from Jan...

"If you could stake a claim for the future, where would you place your hope? If you could pass your wisdom to the next generation, what values would you teach? What ethical legacy would you leave? Without a vision for what may be, what has been loses value." Jan Wiersma

ARC is an important "ministry" of mine...through Jan's writing, maybe you can understand why.

Day 3: What's Next?

One of my next activities is to continue my work with all of the awesome people in the Pacific Islands. I had a phone conversation the other night with June De Leon and Connie Guerrero from Guam CEDDERS. I am very thankful for my friends at Guam CEDDERS (Center for Excellence in Developmental Disabilities Education, Research, and Training) http://www.guamcedders.org/main/index.php . They are all dedicated, committed, kind, brilliant, and insightful people, both individually and as a group, and they are responsible for my ability to continue my work with children who are visually impaired in Micronesia. I spent some time brainstorming ideas for our continued work together for children and the people in the Pacific Islands with disabilities and particularly those who need braille. We are going to complete our current project (see http://www.guamcedders.org/main/index.php?pg=pacific_cimap) this year and look towards new ways to move forward.

I also saw the new fawn again on my morning walk/run.

Day 2: Setting the Record Straight

Let's set the record straight on what to call my current state of being. I feel I'm a bit neurotic on this one...people who have been in conversation with me know that I don't want to refer to my current status as "retired." It doesn't feel, smell, look, or taste like retirement. I am not collecting a "retirement" check and I need to work. I have been saying that I've "resigned," but when someone is as old as me and has been around one job as long as me...it looks like "retirement" to everyone else!

I thought I may need to concede and say that I am "retired" from teaching, but I'm NOT in "retirement." So I looked at a few definitions....it actually was a bit fun...take a look at http://blogs.moneycentral.msn.com/smartspending/archive/2008/10/30/rewriting-the-definition-of-retirement.aspx ...."Rewriting the definition of retirement." I especially liked this phrase, "Retirement is no longer conventionally retiring. Instead, it is re-engaging."

I also looked up the definition of "resignation." You might have fun looking at that one yourself and deciding why I'm sticking with "RESIGNING."

So the debate is over and my final word is... I "resigned" from teaching at RRSEC and am "re-engaging" with my work for children who are blind/low vision.

So what was meaningful on Day 2? I went for a walk/run again and saw 2 loons (yesterday I saw a baby fawn...at first I thought it was a little puppydog down the road). I had an ethics committee meeting at our local hospital. I've been a community representative on the ethics committee since its inception (maybe about 15 years?). Learning about and participating in biomedical ethics dialogues has been important to me in many ways and I am thankful for this activity in my life and I intend on keeping this one going.

Day 1: Yeah!

The title of my Blog..."My 1st 100 Days (not in office)" really means: Today is my first day (after 32 years) to not be on a teacher contract for the Rum River Special Education Cooperative. So today is my first day thinking and living in a different way than I have been for the last 32 years... So what does that mean today? I got up and went for a walk/run and was reminded by Rog that it was my 57th birthday today and Olivia, my granddaughter ( 2 yrs 3 mos), called me up to sing happy birthday. So it means that today I will enjoy and celebrate being 57 years old with a sense of gratitude.